6 months of bliss; yet there is a greater Joy still.

6 months ago I married a man I have loved for years. 

Michael is strong and works hard with his hands. He has such a giving heart (always willing to pay more than he should, or give to any homeless man he sees) and is so compassionate. He gives and does not expect to be repaid. He is brave (while I was picking up Milla in Uganda, this man was in Burma helping the army of refugees learn how to treat their wounded with emergency medical training) and he is willing to take risks. He has rough hands but they are gentile.  He is stubborn, but he stays true to the Truth of his convictions. He loved Milla as a daughter even before he saw her picture for the first time. And he is in love with our God and desires to walk in a way that is honoring to Him.

I am so blessed.

Our wedding was perfect {besides the freezing cold… who knew it was going to snow in May up near Lake Arrowhead}. It was more than I could have dreamed or asked for.  I don’t know why I was so blessed.

After the most magical of evenings- we went down the mountain to learn how to be each other’s help mates for the rest of our lives. It has been a beautiful 6 months!

{back track with me for a moment} I remember life leading up to going to Uganda to pick up my daughter. It was so crazy because God had spoken clearly to me about that direction in my life, then He fulfilled that very longing and desire. I remember wondering what it would feel like after the act of becoming a mother to this orphaned child God had called me to. Was I somehow going to be at this new, higher level of spirituality? Was I going to have greater faith and slay larger giants after this act of fulfilling God’s heart? WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE??? But you know what? after it was all said and done… I felt like Rose Barnes. Obviously life changed greatly, but who I was and how I felt was pretty much the same. I continued to grow in love with the Lord and continued to rely on Him the same ways. It wasn’t like I reached a higher level of my Calling or became a superhuman because the Lord had done this, if nothing else I have gotten more tired and realized the extent of my depravity by becoming a mother. Once Milla and I were home and settled remember thinking to myself, “God you are still the best thing. I still need you most. Your presence is still what I crave and what feeds my soul…orphan care and motherhood are wonderful but they are nothing compared to You.”

{back to present} As I entered in to this season of marriage I think I was waiting for life to  feel differently. From the moment we see Cinderella as young children we are waiting for our Prince Charming’s to come riding up on a horse and sweep us off our feet. Finding your person is made to be such a big deal! It’s what all of high school and college tries to be centered around. If your single your wondering when “the one” will come. If your dating, you wonder if he is “the one”. I spent 30 years loving every moment of being single, but I was definitely-always keeping my eye out and trying to figure out who mister right was so I didn’t make a mistake or miss him somehow. And here I am married to such an amazing man and I love him with all my heart… but you know what? I find myself saying, “God you are still the best thing. I still need you most. Your presence is still what I crave and what feeds my soul…being married is wonderful- but it is nothing compared to You.”

His presence is still unrivaled. His love is still unmatched.

So to those of you who are single. Is being married great? Yes! I have someone to open all my jars of tomato sauce for me (though every time I asked Jesus to do that for me as a single gal, He always came through haha), I have someone to fix things that break, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to talk to as I fall asleep at night and kiss me good morning… but when I got married there was no magical change that occurred. I am still sinful in need of a Savior. I still need to be with the Lord because that is still the only thing that can fill my soul!

And for those of us who are married {whether it be 6 days or 60 years} let’s remember that our spouses are a blessing, but they are not our God.  Can they give us a very unique love that is different than any other relationship we have here on earth? Yes. But they are still human. We need to look to Heaven for our daily bread and not to our spouse. He will come up short and will mess up because he is flawed just like you are. And even though marriage is such a great blessing … let us remember that God is still the best thing and ensure that He is still on the throne of our hearts.

His love is unmatched. His grace flows so freely. Dip your hearts in the stream of Life that flows from His throne room so you can bless your husband, your children, your community and this world.

I think that somehow I assumed that with each life change things would feel different or change at some point or there would be a shift in the atmosphere somehow…

But in my heart- His presence is still unrivaled and His love is still unmatched. And I have a strange suspicion that this will remain a constant for the rest of eternity.

Happy 6 month anniversary Mr Cannon. I look forward to 100 more years at your side with the Lord enthroned in our hearts!